What are the worst songs of the new millennium? Some would say anything that came out of the American Idol machine. Some would say "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Some would say "My Neck, My Back (Lick It)" by Khia. But the real worst song is none other than one that came out last summer and exploded around the world:

"Apologize", credited to Timbaland featuring OneRepublic

Here are the reasons why:

1. The original version, credited to OneRepublic itself, is a haunting, beautiful tune, one of the best of the decade. The version credited to Timbaland featuring OneRepublic is auditory rape. A terrible dance track is added to the song, and all that motherfucking bitch-ass whore Timbaland adds in terms of vocals is "eh, eh" every five seconds.
2. Timbaland is an arrogant, self-righteous bastard who should be slapped ten ways from Sunday.
3. Ryan Tedder, the leader of OneRepublic, is one of his motherfucking proteges, much like the in-demand Danja and that bitch Keri Hilson and many others. I'm even thinking that Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott is one of his minions. Seriously, is this what music has been reduced to? I would have more respect for Ryan, Danja, and Keri if they had not sold out and became stars without the need to ride on Timbaland's coat-tails. I did not know that Ryan WAS one of Timbaland's bitches until earlier this year. I now hate the honky bastard.
4. I think that it should be illegal for producers to have top billing on songs on which they contribute less than 50% of the vocals. You see this all the time in gay dance clubs. The tracks have the producers' names as the headliners and the actual singers as the featured ones. Either let the singers have their due or don't fucking bother producing their songs. That includes you, Timbaland and Mark Ronson.
5. This song is symptomatic of what is going on in 21st century popular music: arrogance, elitism, and overall crappiness. If I were a budding pop star, and Timbaland or his minions wanted to produce my debut album, I'd beat their bitch-asses up with a closet stick. I'd rather have an album with quality songs and vocals produced by lesser-known producers and have it sell less, than make millions of dollars with an album of crappy songs and vocals that reflect the crappy styles of the producers and songwriters themselves and not my own strengths.

Nelly Furtado, what the hell were you thinking?